Norad’s Annual Santa Tracking, now with SG1
by Ausiewanab
Summary: This is per a conversation about Stargate's lack of Christmas themed specials. So thus my story about Teal'c, Norad, and tracking Santa. Set in Season 1 and features the team trying to explain who Santa is.


Title: Norad's Annual Santa Tracking, now with SG-1  
Author: Ausiewanab  
Rating: G  
Characters:SG-1

Spoilers: only spoiler would be for Children of the God, otherwise takes place in season 1.  
Summary: SG-1 tries to explain to Teal'c who Santa is and the tradition of Norad tracking him.

Author's notes: Not beta'd and written just for fun. But I do appreciate comments, remember I haven't written anything in over 2 years.

"I do not understand O'Neil, this SantaClaus visits every children's home and gives the good ones a present?" Teal'c asked in disbelief while looking at a picture of Santa. "Not even a Goa'uld could manage a defeat such as this."

"That's the point Teal'c." Captain Sam Carter replied as she turned the page in the Christmas book the team was showing to Teal'c, to help him further understand who Jolly Old Saint Nick was. It was December 24th, and the team was scheduled for "Santa Tracking" duties in a few hours. "Santa isn't a Goa'uld. He's…"she said while trying to find the word she was looking for to describe him.

"Santa." Colonel Jack O'Neil said finishing her sentence for her.

"Santa Claus, who is also known as Kris Kringle, legend goes that he lives at the North Pole and he makes a list of children throughout the world according to their behavior, and delivers presents to the good boys and girls in the world by sliding down the chimney while everyone is sleeping." Daniel lectured as he turned the page showing Santa climbing into a chimney.

"This SantaClaus must be a formidable warrior to be able to travel fast enough to visit every boy and girl." Teal'c said in a matter of fact fashion. Sam stifled a laugh. "I am sure Apophis would want the technology that SantaClaus uses."

Daniel grinned. He remembered the time he had tried to explain Santa Claus and the Christmas Holiday to the people of Abydos, enduring the many days of questions he had to answer.

"No so much Buddy." Jack said as he patted Teal'c on the back. "Santa uses more low technology and has elves to make his toys, and nine…"

"Eight," Daniel inturupted, "Rudolph isn't cannon."

"I'm sorry Daniel, but I include Rudolph as one of Santa's a reindeer that help him fly. "

"What is an elves?"

"Elves are short little people with pointy ears." Sam said as she bent her finger above her ears.

"These elves, are they SantaClaus Jaffa? Do they protect SantaClaus from his enemys."

"Not so much." Daniel said.

"Then what is the purpose of these elves?"

"The elves make the toys that Santa delivers." Sam said

"I see." Teal'c said as he tilted his head to the new picture in the book of Santa flying in the sky with eight reindeers. He flipped the page in the book showing the children asleep in their beds while Santa can be seen in the background flying in the sky. "I however do not understand why we are telling boys and girls where this SantaClaus is since they have to be in bed in order for him to come. Is this not delaying his arrival?"

Sam smiled and lowered her head. It was a long tradition with NORAD, (back in the days known as CONAD) that they tracked the movements of Santa to inform kids of his whereabouts, after Colorado Springs Sears had mistakenly printed the wrong phone number for kids to call in for updates. It was a long tradition that the people who worked in Cheyenne Mountain, home to both the Stargate and NORAD pitched in on Christmas Eve to answer phone calls from kids. Being the first year of the Stargate program, the SGC, including General Hammond, was eager to help pitch in and answer some phone calls. OF course SG-1 had signed up for the same time, the last hour of the night, giving themselves plenty of time to try and educate their alien friend.

"The purpose of this is to give hope for children that Santa is on his way to their house." Daniel said.

"I see."

It was near one in the morning and things were beginning to quiet down. The phones had stopped ringing. Teal'c had been sitting stoically, waiting patiently for his first call to come in. He had been waiting what he would consider many minutes for his black phone to ring. He had heard Captain Carter beside him answer her calls, very upbeat, and reassuring to the boys and girls, updating them on Santa's progress. His phone rang.

"Remember Teal'c only let the kids know where Santa is." Jack said as words of encouragement as the phone rang.

When he picked up the phone, he heard a small voice on the other end asking:

"Where is Santa?"

Teal'c's eyes widened. He had faced many battles in his lifetime, and nothing had prepared him for answering questions about a Goa'uld like man giving out presents.

"I can assure you SantaClaus have not made it to your town yet. If you have been a good boy, then SantaClaus will be stopping by your house. However, SantaClaus will not be visiting you until you go to asleep. If you do not go to bed, he will not be giving you any presents. I have given you hope, now go to bed." Teal'c hung up the phone and looked at his teammates, who didn't know whether they should shake their heads or laugh. "How was that, O'Neil?"

"Very good, A+ Buddy." Jack said sarcastically. It was a good thing Santa only came once a year, which gave SG-1 365 more days to prepare Teal'c for next year.


End file.
